What is meaningful work?

As I search for purposeful work to do or a service to give to the world that would be meaningful the question arises what is meaningful work?

Is it only humanitarian work? Or spiritual work?

Or is all work meaningful?

Does there exist a work that doesn’t have meaning at all?


That is the question would love to hear your responses!

People can be what they like and do what they like strictly privately

What is it that they want us to say?

What is that they want us to do? So they can judge us quietly.

“Can you believe what she said? Can you believe what he did?” as they whisper around corners ” I guess we didn’t really know them at all”.

People don’t want to get know you. They want to go right to judging you. Making themselves small demi-gods that never make mistakes or a least none as big as the ones you made. Judgement is fun! It gets the blood flowing with pertinaciousness!

Take my advice don’t give people the pleasure of your opinions, thoughts, and postulation.

Let them wonder what you think. Let them wonder what you mean. Let them wonder  who you really are.

It will be more fun for you.


Big wound old contacts

When it comes to old contacts I don’t have many. I have never been one to hold on to something that is meant to slip through your fingers.

Every now and again it is like the universe spins a wheel and your past sneaks into your present. It could be a call out of the blue, a email, or bump on the street. Something that was so distant, almost forgotten is smack dead in your face again.

At the sound of a voice, flash of face, or reading of a name, a million memories come flooding back again.

It’s bizarre how wounds can hide. You cleaned it, put on a band-aide and everything seemed fine. You saw the wound heal and the pain went away. It should be gone! It should not be allowed to come back again! no matter how long ago you may have been family, friends, lovers or colleagues. Once it’s gone, it should have to stay gone and not be allowed to come around to randomly fuck up peoples day.

I could give a shit how well you knew me then, or how unforgettable you think I am. Do you think it matters how good I was for you, when it was pure shit to me?

These big wounds that stay open due to the vampires of the past. What does one have to do? Put a stake through its heart, garlic up it’s butt, and a cross on his forehead to just to get it to go away and stay away! Apparently so!

When a old contact has left a wound that is big and also deep be ready to preform a exorcism, because a polite conversation won’t get it done, either will ignoring it.

Big wounds want all your attention, consume all your time trying to heal them. You know what…fuck it! through some holy water on it and keep moving!

The past is gone. There is no need to contact. I no longer remember anything about you.


heart beating violently

growing restlessness


restlessness taking possesion

twitching limbs, jerking spine

need to find some peace of mind

pack my bags, run get away

need to breath, need space

need to get away from boredom, chaos, mundane repetition of routine

where do I run to? how quick can I leave? how much money do I need? where can I hide till I caught my breath….?

beep, beep, beep the alarm is going off! it’s 07:00 a.m ! fuck time for work!!

The Bitch Goddess Success



We are running after her like dogs panting and salivating at the mouth

We can almost taste what she can give us

She is in our mind the perfect lover, if we have her we would be all powerful, happy, respected, admired, fulfilled, rich, and most of all adored.

Dogs doing tricks to try to get her attention, that if only she might see us our lives could be changed forever.

Once we have her though the real work begins.

How do we keep her? How do you get her to stay loyal and not run off with the new dog in town?

What happens if she leaves? who or what can replace that bitch-goddess success?

What happens to the life whose happiness is solely in her hands?

She can be amazing, uplifting, and change lives but, she can also be a bitch! abandoning you, breaking your heart, disappointing, and full of illusions.


Feeling bad, feeling sad, feeling glad…

Spinning down

No hope to be found

Tears flow with no where to go, recycled back into my soul to be used on another sad occasion.

Limits, frustration, mind masturbation, constantly stroking, and stroking useless none productive thoughts, that send me down, down, into the shadow of myself.

Then there is the bottom.

My mind stops!

I race against the clock to find myself again

Flash, pop, clarity again!

Then I remember I was not born this way.

My mind crafted a dark dream to entertain itself. It did not know I would take it so seriously.

Realization, awakening, relief….gladness.